Facts About RAJINIKANTH-Just 4 humor


Rajnikanth-facts

We have put together the MOST exhaustive list of Rajinikanth facts on the web!

Yes, FACTS. Don’t you DARE call them jokes!😛

And for your own sake please spell his name right. If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance!”

It is not Rajnikant, Rajnikanth or Rajanikant. It is RAJINIKANTH.

So Enjoy!!!

And if there are any repeats….Enjoy AGAIN.

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Rajinikanth has counted to infinity-twice.
When Rajinikanth does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is!
Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
Rajinikanth’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way!
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai!
Rajinikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
Rajinikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
Rajinikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
Rajinikanth makes onions cry.
Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajinikanth’s PC will crash.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanthh.
Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Rajinikanth knows what women really want!
Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
Rajinikanth and Superman once made a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside.
If at first you don’t succeed you must not be Rajinikanth
Rajinikanth once beat a wall in a game of tennis.
Rajinikanth doesn’t need a condom. He simply says “Stop” and his sperms obey.
Rajinikanth once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
If a tiger had sex with a tornado and then their tiger-nado baby got married to an earthquake, their offspring would be Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth CAN talk about the Fight Club
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
There are no races, only countries of people Rajinikanth has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Newton”s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajinikanth turnaround kick.
When taking the GRE, write “Rajinikanth” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
Rajinikanth has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
If you Google search “Rajinikanth getting kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
Rajinikanth can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
James Cameron wanted Rajinikanth to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair
When Rajinikanth stares at the sun, it hides behind the clouds & it rains.
The tsunami in 2006 was not caused by an under-water earthquake, Rajinikanth dived into the ocean.
BREAKING NEWS – Rajinikanth ne DON ko pakad liya. Namumkin huh !
Page3 headline on 2nd April 2028 “Big B’s granddaughter debuts with Rajinikanth‘s Robot-5?
Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
Rajinikanth never needs to light his cigarette. It lights by heat of his lips.
743825 telescopes across the universe are tracking Rajinikanth Live
When Rajinikanth wants diamonds, his hand scoops stones from volcanoes & cuts them with his stares
Stephen Hawking discovered today, the universe revolves around Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth can see through you even if you are on the other side of the Earth
For his honeymoon, Rajinikanth took his wife for a stroll on Jupiter’s moon.
Once Rajinikanth reached up to the sky to save a crashing plane, while retrieving a sinking ship with his other hand.
When Rajinikanth had surgery, the anesthetic was applied to the surgeons.
Once someone tried to tell Rajni a “knock knock” joke. Rajni found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the bomb was.
While shooting for a song in Switzerland, he held up an avalanche with his little finger.
Rajinikanth stared at the lightning, the lightning blinked & closed its eyes.
Harry Potter is actually the story of baby Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth shot himself in the foot, then put the foot in his month, it healed.
When Rajinikanth is thirsty, it RAINS.
Beyonce is not celebrating her birthday. Rajinikanth forgot to wish her.
Every time Rajni gets angry, there is @Twitter fail whale!
Osama cannot be found because Rajinikanth kicked him out of Earth.
When Rajinikanth roars, lions pee.
Once Google was Lost. Rajni found it.
Edmund Hillary first met Rajni on the Everest peak.
Neil Armstrong’s famous line on the moon was: “one giant step for mankind, a small step for Rajinikanth”
Rajni is so cool, he makes ice jealous.
There is no gravity.. Rajinikanth threw the apple on Newton’s head.
I drove past Rajni’s house today. He had photos of himself put up to scare intruders away.
Rajinikanth can create a cigarette out of smoke.
Rajni once won a Formula1 race on his bicycle
Death once had a near Rajinikanth experience..!
One day Rajni got so angry with dancing that he smashed it. The result was Break-Dance
When Gabbar Singh didn’t sleep at night, his mum used to say “so ja beta, warna Rajni jaag jayega!”
Rajinikanth teaches Art of Living to Sri Sri Ravishankar.
There is nothing like recession, its just that Rajinikanth started saving money.
Rajni can download the Internet & compress it to a single MB!
Oh and Rajni doesn’t have to download the Internet… The Internet uploads to Rajni.
Rajinikanth is so fast he always comes yesterday.
Government aborts blackberry ban plan, since Rajni can intercept all mails and messages
Why doesn’t Rajinikanthh show up on Google? You don’t find Rajinikanthh. Rajinikanthh finds you.
Jesus can walk on water but Rajinikanth can swim through land..!
Rajinikanth can make David Blaine disappear.
Rajinikanth was without words once – just to experience the feeling of being speechless.
Rajinikanth can blind the sun by looking at it.
Rajinikanth’s sunglasses protect the sun.
Contrary to popular belief, India is not a democracy. It is a Rajinikanthatorship.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them
Rajinikanth does not mow the lawn. He just stares at the grass and dares it to grow!
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
Rajinikanth doesn’t walk. The earth moves under his feet
Rajinikanth ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
The last digit of pi is Rajinikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajinikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajinikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajinikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanthh.
Rajinikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajinikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajinikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajinikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Rajinikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajinikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
Rajinikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajinikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajinikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajinikanth, the result is death.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajinikanth takes this as a personal insult.
Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the Lights on,………he turns the Dark off.
When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajinikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
Rajinikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.?
Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
Rajinikanth can lick his elbows. ?
Rajinikanth does not get frostbite. Rajinikanth bites frost.
Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajinikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
When Rajinikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
Rajinikanth can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths. ?
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
Rajinikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
They once made a Rajinikanth toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
Rajinikanth recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Rajinikanth once entered a race , he came first,second and third.
Rajinikanth doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Rajinikanth once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Rajinikanth puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
Rajinikanth doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
When Rajinikanth does division, there are no remainders.
Rajinikanth had died 20 yrs ago..death hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
Rajinikanth can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Rajinikanth doesn’t pay attention- attention pays him.
Rajinikanth stared at the sun for hours..the sun then became blind
Rajinikanth once farted…..the air he released is now called oxygen
Rajinikanth can activate BBM on a landline!

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