Reality of Indians

Reality of Indians!

-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges.

-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB’s to manage the First Class students.

-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students.

-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses.

-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them.

Hit With Your Elbow

Gf giving house directions 2 her Bf -
.
“Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me, look for flat 9A, you ll find a lift on ur right.
……
hit 9 with ur ELBOW…..
get out of the lift u’ll find my flat on left….
hit the doorbell wid ur ELBOW & I ll get the door 4u”
.
Bf says- Dear that seems easy but why m I hitting buttons with my elbows ?
.
Gf-”0MG! Are you coming empty handed ????”
.
bf :- (speechless)…:D

7 TYPES OF GIRLS …

7 TYPES OF GIRLS …
__________________________________

1. HARD DISK Girls:
Remember everything forever.

2. RAM Girls:
Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls:
Just for looking.

4. INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.

5. SERVER Girls:
Always busy when needed.

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:
Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

7. VIRUS Girls :
These type of girls are normally called ‘WIFE’
once enters in your system don’t leave
even after format.

Rajni is backwith new hits

Rajni is backwith new hits:

Rajnikant can produce fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes..

Rajnikant runs until treadmil gets tired..

In the back cover of “WORLD RECORD BOOKS” its written..all records are held by rajnikant..listed names are second in place..

Rajnikant addeD facebook as his friend..

Once rajnikant was on hot seat in KBC…and computer needed lifeline to choose the questions..

Rajnikant can whistle in 5 diff. languages..

If rajni’s PC hangs..its time for next Windows release by microsoft.

Bestum Best…..
Rajnidada can send WHATSAPP from a roadside PCO…

Your parents have come to visit us

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she’s done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

“hi darling”, he says,
“your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

Ultimate Story Humor

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said “I’d like to buy some cyanide”.

The pharmacist asked “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied “I need it to poison my husband”.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture, thought a moment, then said “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”

Paranormal ONE-LINERS

Paranormal ONE-LINERS…

1) Wedding Ring is the world’s smallest
Hathkadi
2) Luv is Blind & Marriage is an eye opener
3) Honey after Marriage tastes like a Ginger
4) Dogs don’t Marry as they already live Dog’s
Life
5) Before Marriage, a man holds a girl’s hand
for Love & after Marriage for Self-defence
6) For a Wife, Money is d ultimate Painkiller
7) Its a well known saying that…
“Jo Hase Unke Ghar Basse.”
Par Sawal ye he ki
Ghar Basne Ke Baad Kitne Hase…

A Girl Updated her Status on facebook

A Girl Updated her Status on facebook – :”(

*1st Boy Commented :- What happened Babes.? Am there for you…??
She Blocked Him :/

*2nd Boy Commeted :- aawww My Baby, I Love you… Please don’t Cry..
She Blocked Him too.. :p

*3rd Boy Commeted :- wheneva i see yur crying in all yur statuses.!! P
She Blocked him too..:@

*4th Boy Commented : what happnd dear….?? How can i help you dear…??
She Commented back :- yes ‘BROTHER’.. i’ll message you asap..!! .

This Time.. The Boy Blocked Her.. :p =D :

3 reactions of a girl with and without a Boyfriend

3 reactions of a girl without a Boyfriend..

1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro me

2) Gharwale important hain aur unke saamne
Bf kuch bhi nahi.. : )

3) Sab ladke kutte hote hain..

__________________

Same girl after having Boyfriend..

1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar..
Uske siway kuch nahi dikhta ab mujhe :s

2) Gharwalon ko manana padega kaise bhi..
I can’t leave him

3) Wo baaki ladkon ki tarah kutta nahi hai…
He loves me alot.. : )

Different Ages :D

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

LOL at Heights

Me to Me

Facebook: What’s on your mind?
Me: TURBAN. 7.5 meter. Full Voile

Salman Khan: I’m an actor
Me: Hahaha!!! Good one! Bas paaji, ehna na hassao.

Manmohan Singh: I’m the Prime Minister of India.
Me: Wow! Kya acting ki hai SirJi. Sallu ko bhi sikha do kuch.

Ex-GF: You need a psychiatrist
Me: Sure! Is she beautiful?

Present GF: I LOVE kids. Kids are sooooo cute.
Me: Let’s have sex
Present GF: No no… Bacha ho gaya toh?!

Friends: Dude, get a life!!
Me: I can’t afford it. i work in a call-center… Remember?

Mom: Start Dieting
Me: DIET IN. Sure mom… * Starts eating *

God: Why do you always make fun of me?
Me: Who are you, again? I didn’t recognise you. All 330 million of you look identical. Either you’re Chinese or Sikh.

Time: Respect Me. If I go once, I won’t come back.
Me: You sound just my ex-gf. Are you also taking to other guys behind my back?

India: Mein teri Maa hoon?
Me: I love you maa… Par I love Mama Ji (Canada) more.

Life: You’ve been a sore loser till now. When do you intend to do something significant?
Me: When India will top the Olympics medal tally.

Me to Me: So, another FB status…. Saale koi Novel he likh le!!
Me to Me: Sikh hoon. Free ka langar khilane ki aadat hai.

- Jorawar Walia -