Archive for December 14, 2007

Men and Women ~Some Interesting Facts~

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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Collection of leave letters and applications….. Amazing One

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various parts of India…
1. Infosys, Bangalore:
An employee applied for leave as follows:
“Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave”.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son:
“as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”

3. Another gem from CDAC.
Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o- clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”

6. An incident of a leave letter
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”

9. Covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”

10. Another one:
“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…”

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.

12. Letter writing: -
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

13. A candidate’s job application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’…

As I am both(!! ) for the past several years and I can handle both with good ….

New facts abt girlsssssssss

1) What is the difference between girls and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

2) Why do girls always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are…

3) What do girls have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them
forever.

4) If you drop a girl and a brick out of a plane,which one would
hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares??.. …

5) What did God say after he created girl?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created boy

6) What’s the difference between an intelligent girl & a UFO ?
Answer:I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.

7) What are two reasons why girls don’t mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business

( BEST OF THE LOT ) What makes girls chase boys when they have no intention of
marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have
no intention of driving

If you love someone…..(All versions)

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ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, she never was….
THE NEW VERSIONS…..

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
Don’t worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she doesn’t come back within some time
forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait
until she comes back …
Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
* If she comes back,
and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that…
Bill Gates :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
but tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She’ll evolve.
Statisticians : (Apte)
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you,
the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn’t, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger’s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person
If you love someone
don’t set her free.
HR specialist
If you love someone
set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits
Then outsource her.
MBA
If you love someone
set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn’t come back her id is supreme
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back it’s a nightmare
If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn’t, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn’t, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn’t, reposition the brand in new market

Punjabi Shayari Contd. [part 5]

This blog is moved to

http://punjabimohalla.com/

Wise Sayings…..

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Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Difference Between “Somebody You LOVE” & Somebody You LIKE”

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster.
But in front of the person you like, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can’t say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you like, you can show your own self.

you can’t look straight into the eyes of the one you love.
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.
But the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But If you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever

Missing you….____quotes

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When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I’m with you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you.
If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you
A hug for you means I need you. A kiss for you means I love you. A call for you means I’m missing you.
I miss the way you used to hug me, I miss the way you used to kiss my lips, but most of all I miss the way you held me and my heart. I miss you…
You are the sun in my day, the wind in my sky, the waves in my ocean and the beat in my heart… I Miss You…
I am waiting and hoping and wishing for the time, when we can be together again! I Miss You!
When you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, I’m like a star; sometimes you can’t see me, but I’m always there.
I think of you with every waking moment of my life and dream of you with every dream that I have; I miss you.

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